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Published in The Coop Scoop

·Aug 9

The Wisest Things Someone’s Snotty Child Almost Certainly Said

You must be so proud, parent posting on Facebook — If you’ve ever been online — and there’s a good chance you have, if you’re reading this — you’ve probably read many inspirational quotes uttered by friends’, colleagues’, or even complete strangers’ crotch spawn. “That’s so true, although it sounds a little advanced for a two-year-old”, you might think, as…

Humor

3 min read

The Wisest Things Someone’s Snotty Child Almost Certainly Said
The Wisest Things Someone’s Snotty Child Almost Certainly Said

Published in The Critter Feed

·Aug 5

My Best Bird Photographs — Aussie Animal Edition

The lowdown on my doings down under — It’s been a while since I posted here. I could make a lame excuse, but my audience (both of you) deserve the truth — which is that I was washing my hair. For a few months. With that out of the way, I thought I’d share some of what I’ve…

Photography

4 min read

My Best Bird Photographs — Aussie Animal Edition
My Best Bird Photographs — Aussie Animal Edition

Published in The Critter Feed

·May 15

If Shark Week Writers Did Obituaries

His only crime? Looking a bit like a seal — Loving father. Cherished husband. Just another meal for a Pacific apex predator. Jimmy Sprockett, 45, passed away from natural causes on May 12, 2022, after a large female great white shark bit him in half. After all, what could be more natural than this finely-tuned killing machine doing what it…

Humor

2 min read

If Shark Week Writers Did Obituaries
If Shark Week Writers Did Obituaries

Published in The Coop Scoop

·May 11

My First 6 Months of Stock Photography

How much can you make from stock photography in 2022? — I’ve been uploading some of my wildlife photographs to stock photography sites for around six months now. So, I thought it was about time to take stock of the situation. (And make terrible puns.) Have I found a superior side hustle? Am I up to my armpits in passive income…

Photography

9 min read

My First 6 Months of Stock Photography
My First 6 Months of Stock Photography

Published in The Coop Scoop

·Apr 26

We Respectfully Reject Your Memoir Because You’re Boring as Shit

A literary agent has had enough — Dear Mr. Lumpkin, Thank you so much for sending us your memoir: Roll Up, Roll Up: Confessions of a Carpet Store Manager in Sleaford. First of all, I would like to say that we’re flattered you asked us to represent you. I would like to say that, but I’m not…

Humor

4 min read

We Respectfully Reject Your Memoir Because You’re Boring as Shit
We Respectfully Reject Your Memoir Because You’re Boring as Shit

Published in The Coop Scoop

·Mar 30

The Main Reason Will Smith Shouldn’t Have Slapped Chris Rock

He must have known this would happen — Unless you’ve been trapped in a wombat burrow for the last few days, you’ve probably heard about what went down at the 2022 Oscars or — as I like to call it — The Pursuit of Slappyness. Now, I’m not one to weigh in on the morality of the incident…

News

4 min read

The Main Reason Will Smith Shouldn’t Have Slapped Chris Rock
The Main Reason Will Smith Shouldn’t Have Slapped Chris Rock

Published in The Critter Feed

·Mar 30

The Marsupial That Sexes Itself to Death

Australia, why you so crazy? — Antechinus may sound like a tragic hero of Greek mythology, but it’s actually the name of a small Australian marsupial, a little like a cross between a mouse and a shrew. In a way, I suppose it is a tragic hero of its own tale. You see, the male Antechinus…

Humor

3 min read

The Marsupial That Sexes Itself to Death
The Marsupial That Sexes Itself to Death

Published in The Critter Feed

·Mar 21

My 5 Best Wildlife Photographs — Part 2

The sequel no one asked for — These days, I find myself enjoying photography a lot more, and enjoying writing a lot less. But photography doesn’t pay the bills, unless the bills amount to $10 or so a month, so I’d better get back to writing here, which also doesn’t pay the bills. Some of you enjoyed…

Photography

4 min read

My 5 Best Wildlife Photographs — Part 2
My 5 Best Wildlife Photographs — Part 2

Published in The Critter Feed

·Mar 10

On the Prowl for Barn Owls

A frustrating few weeks led to one of my best wildlife experiences — Barn owls have always been one of my favourite birds. Some say they’re evil omens; some say their face looks like an apple cut in half. I only agree with one of these groups. Whether demonic spirit or fruit impersonator, their ghostly silhouette gliding low over the grass at dusk…

Photography

6 min read

On the Prowl for Barn Owls
On the Prowl for Barn Owls

Published in The Coop Scoop

·Mar 8

Good Hunt Willing: An Unoriginal Screenplay

The tale of a humble math prodigy with secret janitorial skills — Good Hunt Willing is a screenplay written by Brad Maiming and Chet Assfleck. The story follows Hunter (Hunt) Willing, a math prodigy and MIT student who harbors secret janitorial prowess. Hunt anonymously solves a blackboard equation for the optimum scrubbing pattern to get vomit out of a carpet, to the…

Humor

4 min read

Good Hunt Willing: An Unoriginal Screenplay
Good Hunt Willing: An Unoriginal Screenplay
Alex Cooper

Alex Cooper

Sporadic satirist and amateur wildlife photographer. Buy my pics here: https://tinyurl.com/yfrf5ty9

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