Published in The Critter Feed·1 day agoIf Shark Week Writers Did ObituariesHis only crime? Looking a bit like a seal — Loving father. Cherished husband. Just another meal for a Pacific apex predator. Jimmy Sprockett, 45, passed away from natural causes on May 12, 2022, after a large female great white shark bit him in half. …Humor2 min read
Published in The Coop Scoop·5 days agoMy First 6 Months of Stock PhotographyHow much can you make from stock photography in 2022? — I’ve been uploading some of my wildlife photographs to stock photography sites for around six months now. So, I thought it was about time to take stock of the situation. (And make terrible puns.) Have I found a superior side hustle? Am I up to my armpits in passive income…Photography9 min read
Published in The Coop Scoop·Apr 26We Respectfully Reject Your Memoir Because You’re Boring as ShitA literary agent has had enough — Dear Mr. Lumpkin, Thank you so much for sending us your memoir: Roll Up, Roll Up: Confessions of a Carpet Store Manager in Sleaford. First of all, I would like to say that we’re flattered you asked us to represent you. I would like to say that, but I’m not…Humor4 min read
Published in The Coop Scoop·Mar 30The Main Reason Will Smith Shouldn’t Have Slapped Chris RockHe must have known this would happen — Unless you’ve been trapped in a wombat burrow for the last few days, you’ve probably heard about what went down at the 2022 Oscars or — as I like to call it — The Pursuit of Slappyness. Now, I’m not one to weigh in on the morality of the incident…News4 min read
Published in The Critter Feed·Mar 30The Marsupial That Sexes Itself to DeathAustralia, why you so crazy? — Antechinus may sound like a tragic hero of Greek mythology, but it’s actually the name of a small Australian marsupial, a little like a cross between a mouse and a shrew. In a way, I suppose it is a tragic hero of its own tale. You see, the male Antechinus…Humor3 min read
Published in The Critter Feed·Mar 21My 5 Best Wildlife Photographs — Part 2The sequel no one asked for — These days, I find myself enjoying photography a lot more, and enjoying writing a lot less. But photography doesn’t pay the bills, unless the bills amount to $10 or so a month, so I’d better get back to writing here, which also doesn’t pay the bills. Some of you enjoyed…Photography4 min read
Published in The Critter Feed·Mar 10On the Prowl for Barn OwlsA frustrating few weeks led to one of my best wildlife experiences — Barn owls have always been one of my favourite birds. Some say they’re evil omens; some say their face looks like an apple cut in half. I only agree with one of these groups. Whether demonic spirit or fruit impersonator, their ghostly silhouette gliding low over the grass at dusk…Photography6 min read
Published in The Coop Scoop·Mar 8Good Hunt Willing: An Unoriginal ScreenplayThe tale of a humble math prodigy with secret janitorial skills — Good Hunt Willing is a screenplay written by Brad Maiming and Chet Assfleck. The story follows Hunter (Hunt) Willing, a math prodigy and MIT student who harbors secret janitorial prowess. Hunt anonymously solves a blackboard equation for the optimum scrubbing pattern to get vomit out of a carpet, to the…Humor4 min read
Published in The Critter Feed·Mar 4Sanderlings and Sandy ThingsSacrificing my jeans for a better photo — There’s something romantic about photographing wading birds on the coast. The sun, sea, and sand combine to capture a moment of calm. When it comes to sanderlings, this surface-level serenity can be misleading — these little waders waddle about frantically, searching for a meal on the shore. Occasionally they’ll set…Photography3 min read
Published in The Coop Scoop·Mar 3Introducing: Tinyform ArticlesNow you have no excuse not to keep your writing streak alive — Have you ever thought: “Sweet baby Jesus; get to the damn point!” whilst reading a shortform article? Step away from the keyboard, Tolstoy — no one has the attention span to sift through three whole paragraphs of tortured prose. If you can say it in 150 words, you can say…Humor2 min read
